On July 25th, my grandparent’s situation became painfully aware to me after my great-uncle and husband drove to Richmond to check on them. Subsequently, my uncle was arrested on 2 misdemeanor charges of “abuse and neglect of an incapacitated adult.” He has remained incarcerated awaiting trial. Though originally scheduled for mid January, it was continued (postponed) until March 15th.
Fortunately, none of the 25+ witnesses will have to testify at a trial after all as my uncle opted for a plea agreement. Today, I accompanied the Prosecutor to the courthouse for the hearing in which Preston confirmed before a judge his guilt of 2 felony charges of “abuse and neglect of an incapacitated adult”. There is a major distinction between the misdemeanor charges he was arrested on and the higher felony charges he plead to. To clarify, the code reads:
§ 18.2-369. Abuse and neglect of incapacitated adults; penalty.
A. It shall be unlawful for any responsible person to abuse or neglect any incapacitated adult as defined in this section. Any responsible person who abuses or neglects an incapacitated adult in violation of this section and the abuse or neglect does not result in serious bodily injury or disease to the incapacitated adult is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor. Any responsible person who is convicted of a second or subsequent offense under this subsection is guilty of a Class 6 felony.
B. Any responsible person who abuses or neglects an incapacitated adult in violation of this section and the abuse or neglect results in serious bodily injury or disease to the incapacitated adult is guilty of a Class 4 felony. Any responsible person who abuses or neglects an incapacitated adult in violation of this section and the abuse or neglect results in the death of the incapacitated adult is guilty of a Class 3 felony.
C. For purposes of this section:
"Abuse" means (i) knowing and willful conduct that causes physical injury or pain or (ii) knowing and willful use of physical restraint, including confinement, as punishment, for convenience or as a substitute for treatment, except where such conduct or physical restraint, including confinement, is a part of care or treatment and is in furtherance of the health and safety of the incapacitated person.
"Incapacitated adult" means any person 18 years or older who is impaired by reason of mental illness, mental retardation, physical illness or disability, advanced age or other causes to the extent the adult lacks sufficient understanding or capacity to make, communicate or carry out reasonable decisions concerning his well-being.
"Neglect" means the knowing and willful failure by a responsible person to provide treatment, care, goods or services which results in injury to the health or endangers the safety of an incapacitated adult.
"Responsible person" means a person who has responsibility for the care, custody or control of an incapacitated person by operation of law or who has assumed such responsibility voluntarily, by contract or in fact.
"Serious bodily injury or disease" shall include but not be limited to (i) disfigurement, (ii) a fracture, (iii) a severe burn or laceration, (iv) mutilation, (v) maiming, or (vi) life-threatening internal injuries or conditions, whether or not caused by trauma.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He was handed a 20 year sentence (the maximum). Seventeen of those years will be on supervised probation with mandatory rehab and numerous other rules. Three of those years will be spent incarcerated. He will transfer from Richmond City Jail within the next few months and enter the VA Department of Corrections system. This means he will be moved to a correctional facility somewhere in the state of Virginia.
Though one of the conditions of the plea agreement prohibits any contact with my grandmother, I have the option of asking the court to amend that at a later time should I so desire. At this point, Etta thinks she sees him everyday anyway so I am not sure what good would come of any contact. However, I understand that allowing Preston to connect with her in someway at some point may be something appropriate and therapeutic for him- but later. While his treatment, or gross lack there of, was horrific and certainly worthy of the penalty he has received, I still have compassion for him. In my heart, I know he loved/loves my grandparents, his parents. I don’t think he woke up one day and decided to throw his life away, become an addict, and destroy everything his parents ever worked for. Unfortunately, choice after poor choice led to this tragedy. It is my hope that he will truly, deep down in his heart, accept his responsibility for this devastating situation. Only then do I believe can he forgive himself and begin to rebuild his life.
As soon as the hearing was over, I immediately requested his inmate ID so I could write him a letter and request that I be put on his approved visitors list. Sounds crazy? But, he is still my uncle and though he caused this, he is also in great pain right now. He truly has an immense burden to carry knowing what he has done…not saying goodbye to his father before his death…and the very real possibility that that may be true for his mother, my grandmother, as well. I have no intentions of maintaining regular communication with him as I just can’t stretch myself any further and I don’t believe it would be the healthiest thing for either of us. At the same time, for myself, and hopefully for him, I want to share with him my heart through this process, my concern for him, and yet my obligation to go through this agonizing legal process. I want him to know that I salvaged many of his childhood pictures just as I did for my father and that I am keeping those safe for him…that I have his copper baby booties, his first baseball, his birth certificate, and his wallet. I collected these items for him before the house was officially condemned and later ransacked. I hope that he can see that I didn’t just disregard his feelings or that I turned my back on him. This leaves me conflicted. Naturally, I have often felt that is exactly what he did to my grandparents- he disregarded their needs, their feelings and unequivocally turned his back on them. Some would say that he deserves nothing and that he even got off easy. Perhaps there is some truth to that. Yet, the question remains, are any of us truly worthy of any grace or mercy we receive? What makes us so much better? Are we not all just one pathetic choice away from causing devastation in our own lives?
"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." This means we have to put our rocks down. None of us are perfect and who knows what stupid, careless things we might do in our future. Really! It’s a tough lesson to swallow but one that I remind myself of daily.
Family is family- even through the dark days. In the same way, the law is the law and justice has been served in this case. I can rest in that truth. Now it's time to move on....
Fortunately, none of the 25+ witnesses will have to testify at a trial after all as my uncle opted for a plea agreement. Today, I accompanied the Prosecutor to the courthouse for the hearing in which Preston confirmed before a judge his guilt of 2 felony charges of “abuse and neglect of an incapacitated adult”. There is a major distinction between the misdemeanor charges he was arrested on and the higher felony charges he plead to. To clarify, the code reads:
§ 18.2-369. Abuse and neglect of incapacitated adults; penalty.
A. It shall be unlawful for any responsible person to abuse or neglect any incapacitated adult as defined in this section. Any responsible person who abuses or neglects an incapacitated adult in violation of this section and the abuse or neglect does not result in serious bodily injury or disease to the incapacitated adult is guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor. Any responsible person who is convicted of a second or subsequent offense under this subsection is guilty of a Class 6 felony.
B. Any responsible person who abuses or neglects an incapacitated adult in violation of this section and the abuse or neglect results in serious bodily injury or disease to the incapacitated adult is guilty of a Class 4 felony. Any responsible person who abuses or neglects an incapacitated adult in violation of this section and the abuse or neglect results in the death of the incapacitated adult is guilty of a Class 3 felony.
C. For purposes of this section:
"Abuse" means (i) knowing and willful conduct that causes physical injury or pain or (ii) knowing and willful use of physical restraint, including confinement, as punishment, for convenience or as a substitute for treatment, except where such conduct or physical restraint, including confinement, is a part of care or treatment and is in furtherance of the health and safety of the incapacitated person.
"Incapacitated adult" means any person 18 years or older who is impaired by reason of mental illness, mental retardation, physical illness or disability, advanced age or other causes to the extent the adult lacks sufficient understanding or capacity to make, communicate or carry out reasonable decisions concerning his well-being.
"Neglect" means the knowing and willful failure by a responsible person to provide treatment, care, goods or services which results in injury to the health or endangers the safety of an incapacitated adult.
"Responsible person" means a person who has responsibility for the care, custody or control of an incapacitated person by operation of law or who has assumed such responsibility voluntarily, by contract or in fact.
"Serious bodily injury or disease" shall include but not be limited to (i) disfigurement, (ii) a fracture, (iii) a severe burn or laceration, (iv) mutilation, (v) maiming, or (vi) life-threatening internal injuries or conditions, whether or not caused by trauma.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
He was handed a 20 year sentence (the maximum). Seventeen of those years will be on supervised probation with mandatory rehab and numerous other rules. Three of those years will be spent incarcerated. He will transfer from Richmond City Jail within the next few months and enter the VA Department of Corrections system. This means he will be moved to a correctional facility somewhere in the state of Virginia.
Though one of the conditions of the plea agreement prohibits any contact with my grandmother, I have the option of asking the court to amend that at a later time should I so desire. At this point, Etta thinks she sees him everyday anyway so I am not sure what good would come of any contact. However, I understand that allowing Preston to connect with her in someway at some point may be something appropriate and therapeutic for him- but later. While his treatment, or gross lack there of, was horrific and certainly worthy of the penalty he has received, I still have compassion for him. In my heart, I know he loved/loves my grandparents, his parents. I don’t think he woke up one day and decided to throw his life away, become an addict, and destroy everything his parents ever worked for. Unfortunately, choice after poor choice led to this tragedy. It is my hope that he will truly, deep down in his heart, accept his responsibility for this devastating situation. Only then do I believe can he forgive himself and begin to rebuild his life.
As soon as the hearing was over, I immediately requested his inmate ID so I could write him a letter and request that I be put on his approved visitors list. Sounds crazy? But, he is still my uncle and though he caused this, he is also in great pain right now. He truly has an immense burden to carry knowing what he has done…not saying goodbye to his father before his death…and the very real possibility that that may be true for his mother, my grandmother, as well. I have no intentions of maintaining regular communication with him as I just can’t stretch myself any further and I don’t believe it would be the healthiest thing for either of us. At the same time, for myself, and hopefully for him, I want to share with him my heart through this process, my concern for him, and yet my obligation to go through this agonizing legal process. I want him to know that I salvaged many of his childhood pictures just as I did for my father and that I am keeping those safe for him…that I have his copper baby booties, his first baseball, his birth certificate, and his wallet. I collected these items for him before the house was officially condemned and later ransacked. I hope that he can see that I didn’t just disregard his feelings or that I turned my back on him. This leaves me conflicted. Naturally, I have often felt that is exactly what he did to my grandparents- he disregarded their needs, their feelings and unequivocally turned his back on them. Some would say that he deserves nothing and that he even got off easy. Perhaps there is some truth to that. Yet, the question remains, are any of us truly worthy of any grace or mercy we receive? What makes us so much better? Are we not all just one pathetic choice away from causing devastation in our own lives?
"Let he who is without sin, cast the first stone." This means we have to put our rocks down. None of us are perfect and who knows what stupid, careless things we might do in our future. Really! It’s a tough lesson to swallow but one that I remind myself of daily.
Family is family- even through the dark days. In the same way, the law is the law and justice has been served in this case. I can rest in that truth. Now it's time to move on....