PLEASE NOTE:
Though my grandparents are both now deceased, I struggled with the decision to delete this "FAQ" page. It's part of their story! Perhaps the following information will be of value to my thoughtful readers.
Where are James & Etta living now?
James and Etta moved close to us, just a couple of miles, at the beginning of August. We were very blessed in that my top choice facility was able to accommodate both of them and together in the same room! This is very unusual as they are typically at capacity in the dementia unit.
Can James & Etta receive mail?
Personal notes and cards for James and Etta are encouraged! Two bulletin boards have been hung in their room to post special items such as mail from loved ones. Please feel free to write to them! Any mail sent directly to the facility is held for me to check first (to ensure no one is attempting to reach them that shouldn't be) which causes a delay. Therefore, your best bet is to just address it to them using my address with "C/O Jeannie Beidler". I strongly discourage sending mail to the facility in order to ensure Etta/James actually receive it and in a timely manner. You can also send email messages that I will print out and read to them.
PLEASE be sure your messages do not refer to their "new home", "nursing home", "get well soon", etc.
I have learned that the best way to address or respond to James and Etta is as though their reality is accurate. They believe they go home each evening and return to "work" each morning. That being said, neither understand that this is their new residence. They don't know how complex the situation is regarding Preston. They do not know they are in Charlottesville and not in Richmond. They know nothing of the condition of their home or the horror they survived. However, I have been advised by the treating professionals that it is best to give them only the information they request. They love to hear the latest about others and the news. Allowing them to remain avtive in your life by knowing what is happening to you and your family is a gift to them. Hope this helps you! Thank you for reaching out to them!
PLEASE be sure your messages do not refer to their "new home", "nursing home", "get well soon", etc.
I have learned that the best way to address or respond to James and Etta is as though their reality is accurate. They believe they go home each evening and return to "work" each morning. That being said, neither understand that this is their new residence. They don't know how complex the situation is regarding Preston. They do not know they are in Charlottesville and not in Richmond. They know nothing of the condition of their home or the horror they survived. However, I have been advised by the treating professionals that it is best to give them only the information they request. They love to hear the latest about others and the news. Allowing them to remain avtive in your life by knowing what is happening to you and your family is a gift to them. Hope this helps you! Thank you for reaching out to them!
What about phone calls?
James & Etta do not have a phone line in their room. If you would like to speak to them, I am happy to call you from my cell phone when I am visiting them. I go everyday so just let me know! Etta has thoroughly enjoyed numerous conversations with loved ones using my cell phone. I am sure she would love to hear from you too!
When can I visit them?
Anytime! Though it is best to avoid meal times when they are hungry and anxious to eat- seriously! As evening approaches, they seem less interested in visiting as they really are just tired from a long day at work (that is their reality). Best time? Mid to late morning or after lunch into midafternoon. There is a code to enter the Dementia unit. If you would like to go see them, I would be happy to help prepare you for your visit.
Do James & Etta need anything?
I have them pretty well stocked with new clothes and such. However, their inventory changes daily so their needs will likely as well. If you think of something you would like to send, please do! James LOVES to get treats as does Etta!