Busy, busy day!
To summarize:
1) I called the medical examiner back today to check on the results of the autopsy for
James. While I am waiting to receive the full detailed report, the M/E has completed
his investigation. Once I share this information with my family, I will post those results
here to share with you.
2) Talked to the prosecutor about the trial that is now scheduled for March. We
discussed various potential witnesses and possible outcomes for my uncle. There is
STILL so much to consider!
3) Met with the director at the nursing home about Etta getting a roommate. We got
the "green light" from the other family to move Etta's friend in with her. SADLY, this
indication of progress turned into a disaster! Etta was VERY upset, to put it mildly,
that someone would be sleeping in James' bed! So much so that this woman's
daughter changed her mind, understandably. Back to square 1. Etta
doesn't understand that once her money runs out she will not have a choice but to
share a room. Then what? She lives the remainder of her days feeling violated,
confused, and paranoid? She's already had her share of that before I intervened. This
feels so much like having a preschooler again....making tough choices for someone
else that they don't like because they can't conceptualize the bigger picture. I'm
stressed, Etta's stressed. There is no easy solution. The worse part is that this is
totally out of my control. I have worked endlessly these last 2 weeks to prepare Etta
for this transition to no avail. I can't change her stance any more than I can change
the weather.
4) Met with the Medical director which is also Etta's physician. We discussed her current
mental and physical state, the roommate issue, her anxiety, the upcoming trial. He is
a wonderful, incredibly intelligent doctor that has taught me so much about this
disease.
5) I spent a couple of hours with Etta today. She was more confused than ever. She
asked what my mom looked like and I described her. She then asked me if she was
married. To this I thought, she has no idea, at this moment, who my mom is and that
she is married to her son. She asked me how long they had been married and if they
also stayed here (at the nursing home). Somehow, she lost the connection that I have
to her through my father. It was sad as I know this is just a mere hint to the coming
days when she will not know me anymore. I can't even bear to think of that. Later, a
photo taken of her and I together popped up on her digital frame. She said, "Look,
look at that picture....who is that with you?" Casually, I told her it was the two of us
together but that it was kind of fuzzy and she probably couldn't make it out clearly
(even though this wasn't true). She couldn't believe it was her and told me that I was
"obviously mistaken". My response? "You're probably right. I mix things up like that all
the time!" (smile)
To summarize:
1) I called the medical examiner back today to check on the results of the autopsy for
James. While I am waiting to receive the full detailed report, the M/E has completed
his investigation. Once I share this information with my family, I will post those results
here to share with you.
2) Talked to the prosecutor about the trial that is now scheduled for March. We
discussed various potential witnesses and possible outcomes for my uncle. There is
STILL so much to consider!
3) Met with the director at the nursing home about Etta getting a roommate. We got
the "green light" from the other family to move Etta's friend in with her. SADLY, this
indication of progress turned into a disaster! Etta was VERY upset, to put it mildly,
that someone would be sleeping in James' bed! So much so that this woman's
daughter changed her mind, understandably. Back to square 1. Etta
doesn't understand that once her money runs out she will not have a choice but to
share a room. Then what? She lives the remainder of her days feeling violated,
confused, and paranoid? She's already had her share of that before I intervened. This
feels so much like having a preschooler again....making tough choices for someone
else that they don't like because they can't conceptualize the bigger picture. I'm
stressed, Etta's stressed. There is no easy solution. The worse part is that this is
totally out of my control. I have worked endlessly these last 2 weeks to prepare Etta
for this transition to no avail. I can't change her stance any more than I can change
the weather.
4) Met with the Medical director which is also Etta's physician. We discussed her current
mental and physical state, the roommate issue, her anxiety, the upcoming trial. He is
a wonderful, incredibly intelligent doctor that has taught me so much about this
disease.
5) I spent a couple of hours with Etta today. She was more confused than ever. She
asked what my mom looked like and I described her. She then asked me if she was
married. To this I thought, she has no idea, at this moment, who my mom is and that
she is married to her son. She asked me how long they had been married and if they
also stayed here (at the nursing home). Somehow, she lost the connection that I have
to her through my father. It was sad as I know this is just a mere hint to the coming
days when she will not know me anymore. I can't even bear to think of that. Later, a
photo taken of her and I together popped up on her digital frame. She said, "Look,
look at that picture....who is that with you?" Casually, I told her it was the two of us
together but that it was kind of fuzzy and she probably couldn't make it out clearly
(even though this wasn't true). She couldn't believe it was her and told me that I was
"obviously mistaken". My response? "You're probably right. I mix things up like that all
the time!" (smile)