After meeting with the physician, we concluded that James' spitting up is not only upsetting to those around him, but causes anxiety for James to a degree as well. I have been trying to "train" him to use a cup or basin to no avail. Then, a lightbulb went off and I remembered seeing tissues everywhere at the house. AND, years ago, he always used hankerchiefs. So, boxes of tissues were planted by his bed and by his recliner just yesterday. When we visited today, I saw no evidence of the issue. Success! Yes, I admit this thrills me. We've tested and tried numerous medications and this simply came down to a routine way he handles this issue and he could not communicate that to any of us. By the way, it is thought that his constant spitting up is in part a form of aggitation as a result of the Alzheimer's and partly typical because he is missing several of his teeth. I will make sure the nurses continue to pass the tissues!
On that same note, I am concerned about James. He has been sleeping more and more lately. Today, when I arrived, I walked over to his bed as his undergarmets needed some immediate adjustments. He instantly woke up, rolled over to me, and smiled as he reached to hold my hand. As I prepared to greet him, he said, "I love you." This exchange is very typical these days and I embrace the authenticity behind the words. I only wish that those who have damaged or broken relationships with him could experience this too. When James spoke today, his voice was very strained and harsh sounding. I had not heard anything from the nursing home about him being sick and I had just been there a day before. I found a nurse who, before I could ask, told me that James has a cold and just started some antibiotics. Ok, I thought, a cold. No worries. He is being treated. And then, I looked down the hall and remembered the two grandma's that died this month already from pnuemonia. I couldn't help but make the connection. Sadness made my heart heavy.
I have thought about this more tonight, that is, the issue of James and Etta dying. Part of me is relieved that they will pass from this Earth in loving care and that they did not die in their home under such poor conditions. And part of me wishes there was enough time for reconciliation to occur with those who have maybe been hurt. But I know God doesn't work that way and that is why we are commanded to love one another. After all, it is easy to love a loveable person. Our challenge as believers is to love those that perhaps aren't so easy to love. That is what GRACE is about...what MERCY is about. COMPASSION. Are any of us really worthy anyway?
Our days are numbered. We just don't know when our time will come. We can't wait or put off reaching out to others. We can't hope they will reach out to us first. We have to seize those moments- for ourselves, for the other person. I feel like I have done that in this situation. As a result, I am overwhelmed, in a multitude of ways, by the place my grandparents have in my life now. While I often feel overwhelmed with weariness from the complexity of the situation, I am equally overwhelmed by the love and grace that is demonstrated everyday through my interactions with James and Etta. They can certainly be challenging at times, but they have ALWAYS returned to a level of peace and trust when just a little bit of patience and kindness is extended. I would venture to say we all have someone in our lives we could extend a hand to? Take the first step towards reconciliation....don't wait another moment.
On that same note, I am concerned about James. He has been sleeping more and more lately. Today, when I arrived, I walked over to his bed as his undergarmets needed some immediate adjustments. He instantly woke up, rolled over to me, and smiled as he reached to hold my hand. As I prepared to greet him, he said, "I love you." This exchange is very typical these days and I embrace the authenticity behind the words. I only wish that those who have damaged or broken relationships with him could experience this too. When James spoke today, his voice was very strained and harsh sounding. I had not heard anything from the nursing home about him being sick and I had just been there a day before. I found a nurse who, before I could ask, told me that James has a cold and just started some antibiotics. Ok, I thought, a cold. No worries. He is being treated. And then, I looked down the hall and remembered the two grandma's that died this month already from pnuemonia. I couldn't help but make the connection. Sadness made my heart heavy.
I have thought about this more tonight, that is, the issue of James and Etta dying. Part of me is relieved that they will pass from this Earth in loving care and that they did not die in their home under such poor conditions. And part of me wishes there was enough time for reconciliation to occur with those who have maybe been hurt. But I know God doesn't work that way and that is why we are commanded to love one another. After all, it is easy to love a loveable person. Our challenge as believers is to love those that perhaps aren't so easy to love. That is what GRACE is about...what MERCY is about. COMPASSION. Are any of us really worthy anyway?
Our days are numbered. We just don't know when our time will come. We can't wait or put off reaching out to others. We can't hope they will reach out to us first. We have to seize those moments- for ourselves, for the other person. I feel like I have done that in this situation. As a result, I am overwhelmed, in a multitude of ways, by the place my grandparents have in my life now. While I often feel overwhelmed with weariness from the complexity of the situation, I am equally overwhelmed by the love and grace that is demonstrated everyday through my interactions with James and Etta. They can certainly be challenging at times, but they have ALWAYS returned to a level of peace and trust when just a little bit of patience and kindness is extended. I would venture to say we all have someone in our lives we could extend a hand to? Take the first step towards reconciliation....don't wait another moment.