Woke up to a call from Etta’s social worker informing me that he had heard that my grandfather’s social worker, Tonia, was making arrangements for his move to Envoy Nursing Home. Frustrated, I thought, time to start my day…here we go again! I contacted everyone in the hospital I knew to state my dissatisfaction with this plan as it didn’t respect the geographic preference I had stated. In the meantime, I consulted a lawyer and a nursing home administrator for advice. In the end, James did not go to Enjoy and was actually transported to my top choice facility in Charlottesville. One down, one to go! James made the transition easily. He is reportedly content so long as he is fed, often and generously. They said they would give him double portions for a while jus t so he can feel secure knowing he will never be starved again.
Officially retained the legal assistance of White & McCarthy in Richmond with the guardianship petition. GAL is Michelle Harmon, also of Richmond. Julie McConnell continues to be the Commonwealth trying the criminal side of this ordeal with Preston.
WEDNESDAY 8/4/10
Etta prepares for her move to C’ville- just doesn’t know it yet. She was excited to learn she would be reunited with James. She had the nurses get her all “gussied” up in a dress and fresh make-up. Concerned that he would not recognize her and this would be hurtful and frustrating for Etta. However, Etta ends up being the one not to recognize James. She said, “If that were my husband, I would be kissing all over him, but that is not him.” Once I arrived and saw that they were eating dinner at two different tables, I asked Etta about the arrangement. Confused, she said, “That is not James. I know that is not him!” I reassured her it was actually James, as did Hailey. She then said, “IF that is my husband, than I better go sit with him” and she moved. I showed the couple photos of each other from their teen years. James recognized himself and exclaimed, “That’s a good looking fellow!” Then he identified Etta’s photo- how wonderful. He point to it and said, “That’s my Etta.” Then, he looked up at Etta, who was beaming that he recognized her, and said, “Do you know my wife? Her name is Etta. I’ve been looking for her. Do you know her?” So sad. Etta didn’t realize what he was saying and only heard her name being said. Heartbreak avoided again. Later, while in their rooms, I showed them both the photo again as Etta was beginning to sense that James didn’t know her. At this point, she did believe it was James but only because of the “sound of his voice.” James again recognized himself and Etta in the photo. Etta said, “We been married for more than 60 years. I waited for you at breakfast and you didn’t come. I've been crying every night for you.” In a moment of clarity, James looked at Etta and said, “I love you.” Etta repeated the sentiment. Just as quickly as the spark was lit, it was gone and James again began asking if she knew Etta. James wanted the curtain drawn separating the room into two spaces. Etta wanted it open saying, “I need to see that he is really there and be able to check on him.” We negotiated the curtain half way.
Brought Etta 2 costume jewelry rings because she has been so concerned about her jewelry. Leary of bringing her 3 “real rings” for fear it will be lost or stolen, even mistakenly picked up by another resident. She seems satisfied with the rings. Will hold on to the others until I feel more confident of giving them to her and if she asks again…it's all that remains from her home/life that is intact. She doesn’t know that though….
Hailey and I arrived around 4 or 4:30pm and left about 6:45pm.
Officially retained the legal assistance of White & McCarthy in Richmond with the guardianship petition. GAL is Michelle Harmon, also of Richmond. Julie McConnell continues to be the Commonwealth trying the criminal side of this ordeal with Preston.
WEDNESDAY 8/4/10
Etta prepares for her move to C’ville- just doesn’t know it yet. She was excited to learn she would be reunited with James. She had the nurses get her all “gussied” up in a dress and fresh make-up. Concerned that he would not recognize her and this would be hurtful and frustrating for Etta. However, Etta ends up being the one not to recognize James. She said, “If that were my husband, I would be kissing all over him, but that is not him.” Once I arrived and saw that they were eating dinner at two different tables, I asked Etta about the arrangement. Confused, she said, “That is not James. I know that is not him!” I reassured her it was actually James, as did Hailey. She then said, “IF that is my husband, than I better go sit with him” and she moved. I showed the couple photos of each other from their teen years. James recognized himself and exclaimed, “That’s a good looking fellow!” Then he identified Etta’s photo- how wonderful. He point to it and said, “That’s my Etta.” Then, he looked up at Etta, who was beaming that he recognized her, and said, “Do you know my wife? Her name is Etta. I’ve been looking for her. Do you know her?” So sad. Etta didn’t realize what he was saying and only heard her name being said. Heartbreak avoided again. Later, while in their rooms, I showed them both the photo again as Etta was beginning to sense that James didn’t know her. At this point, she did believe it was James but only because of the “sound of his voice.” James again recognized himself and Etta in the photo. Etta said, “We been married for more than 60 years. I waited for you at breakfast and you didn’t come. I've been crying every night for you.” In a moment of clarity, James looked at Etta and said, “I love you.” Etta repeated the sentiment. Just as quickly as the spark was lit, it was gone and James again began asking if she knew Etta. James wanted the curtain drawn separating the room into two spaces. Etta wanted it open saying, “I need to see that he is really there and be able to check on him.” We negotiated the curtain half way.
Brought Etta 2 costume jewelry rings because she has been so concerned about her jewelry. Leary of bringing her 3 “real rings” for fear it will be lost or stolen, even mistakenly picked up by another resident. She seems satisfied with the rings. Will hold on to the others until I feel more confident of giving them to her and if she asks again…it's all that remains from her home/life that is intact. She doesn’t know that though….
Hailey and I arrived around 4 or 4:30pm and left about 6:45pm.