I recently read a great idea in one of my Alzheimer's books: Create a "top 20 list" about your loved one with dementia and share it with family/friends. This list would help those visiting or writing to her by providing topics of conversation that she responds positively to. I took this one step further and added a list of "No-No's". This is a list of things to avoid when communicating with Etta, and as I have learned, Alzheimer's patients in general.
ETTA'S TOP 20 LIST
1. Red lipstick
2. Bright colored scarves
3. Fixing her hair
4. Coordinated outfits
5. Costume Jewelry
6. Compliments on any of the above
7. Hearing “I love you” and reasons why
8. Singing church hymns
9. Sweet treats (without nuts)
10. Diet soda or juice
11. Listening to gospel music
12. Going outside
13. Open window blinds to let sunshine in/see birds
14. Looking at pictures
15. Talking about her mama/sisters
16. Reminiscing about James
17. Sharing fashion style from youth (heels, dressing up)
18. Laughing or making others laugh
19. Manicures
20. Asking her for some advice
THE NO-NO LIST
1. Avoid asking questions that require use of her short term/recent memory. She can recall sometimes, but mostly not. (For ex, "what did you have for breakfast?" "Did you have any visitors last night?")
2. Don't talk about future plans as this causes anxiety for her because she is "going home tonight or tomorrow". We take things ONE DAY AT AT TIME.
3. Avoid asking questions about dates or timelines.
4. Don't correct her. Go with whatever she says. Live in her reality.
5. Don't ask her "Do you want ......?" Give her 2 choices instead.
6.
7.
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9.
10.
ETTA'S TOP 20 LIST
1. Red lipstick
2. Bright colored scarves
3. Fixing her hair
4. Coordinated outfits
5. Costume Jewelry
6. Compliments on any of the above
7. Hearing “I love you” and reasons why
8. Singing church hymns
9. Sweet treats (without nuts)
10. Diet soda or juice
11. Listening to gospel music
12. Going outside
13. Open window blinds to let sunshine in/see birds
14. Looking at pictures
15. Talking about her mama/sisters
16. Reminiscing about James
17. Sharing fashion style from youth (heels, dressing up)
18. Laughing or making others laugh
19. Manicures
20. Asking her for some advice
THE NO-NO LIST
1. Avoid asking questions that require use of her short term/recent memory. She can recall sometimes, but mostly not. (For ex, "what did you have for breakfast?" "Did you have any visitors last night?")
2. Don't talk about future plans as this causes anxiety for her because she is "going home tonight or tomorrow". We take things ONE DAY AT AT TIME.
3. Avoid asking questions about dates or timelines.
4. Don't correct her. Go with whatever she says. Live in her reality.
5. Don't ask her "Do you want ......?" Give her 2 choices instead.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.